Jokes

People around the world enjoy the sense of humor and story telling from jokes. As for Chinese jokes, it takes a little bit background knowledge for better understanding which we provide in the end of each joke where necessary.

The nemesis of H7N9

h7n9

The nemesis of H7N9

baogong

Student Pretending “Bao”, (包公, “Lord Bao”) which was a much-praised official who served during the reign of Emperor Renzong

According to the ChinaNews, the 2013 Chongqing University Spring Games was held on April 12. In the opening ceremony, entry of the students with international dress was not only eye-catching, but also show the creativity and vitality of contemporary college students.

Reference Link: http://news.xinhuanet.com/politics/2013-04/13/c_124575913_3.htm

Smarter Medicine

One guy visited the doctor and asked for Smarter Medicine,

The doctor prescribed some medicine to him and asked him to come back next week,

When he came back and complaint that he wasn’t getting any smarter,

The doctor offered him the same medicine and again asked him to come back for a revisit after one week,

One week later, the guy sit in front of the doctor and started the conversation directly,

“I know I am not getting smarter, but I just want to know whether the medicine you gave me is sugar or not?”

“Finally,” the doctor said, “you are getting kind of smarter”.

The First Kiss
 
 

I felt vomiting the first time I kissed my girl friend in the cinema,

I guessed I didn’t like what her saliva tasted,

“We don’t kiss again, Okay?” I suggested,

“Fine”, she said.

……

Years later, she told me that she already vomited before the kiss…

This is my first kiss, yet a romantic story.

 Budget Airline

A Chinese old woman had never flied with a low cost airline, thus she dialed the hotline of a budget airline and enquired about what differences she would expect for her first trial.

“I heard the baggage is not free, is it true?” The woman asked the customer service agent.

“You are right, Miss Xxx, Any checked-in luggage is subject to additional charges depending on the weight. But we do offer up to 7kg free hand carried luggage.”

“What about food?”

“It charges as well, hot dog is priced at…”

“Can I just have some water”

“Yes, but we have only mineral water which is chargeable as well…as a matter of fact, seat selection and also insurance are all optional for purchasing”.

The woman was confused, after a moment of silence, she spoke again:
“What about using the toilet?”

……

Background info:
Strictly speaking, there is still no budget airline in China. On the other hand, quite a lot of public toilets in China are still chargeable which attracts wide complaints.

 Fine, thank you and you?

One Chinese student was injured in a car crush in a foreign country,

The car together with the student fell off the cliff,

The policeman arrived and shouted at the student:

“How are you?”

“Fine, thank you, and you?” The student replied;

The policemen left and the student… died.

Background info

The textbooks used in primary schools in China always provide a single answer to the question ”How are you?” which is “Fine, than you and you?”.

More Jokes:

The farming miracle

Budget airline

Smarter Medicine

The First Kiss

Fine,thank you,and you?

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